Friday 4th May 2012, 11:29pm
I’ve been feeling very impatient these days. My boyfriend may think that I hate him, and so do some of my friends. But honestly I love them to bits. After thinking and thinking I’ve realised that my stress cannot be taken out on them, because although there were times I have wanted to unfriend or leave some of them, I love them. I cannot push people away no matter how upset I’m feeling or angry. I just need to … Hide it? Lol, fake it. I think I need space now. I really am feeling as if they are being too over whelming at times and I need to calm down. The fudge down. I need to grow up, but fuck im only 18, spare me some critictism… I’m a girl with sensitive feelings too. And to be honest, everything happens for a reason! If I drive people away then they were never meant to be apart of my life.
Sunday 15th April 2012, 11:06pm
I had a wonderful half term with the boyfriend. I felt like I was living with him literally. It’s fantastic how seeing him can destress me. Good! Because I know I’ll need that after work in the future.
Sunday 18th March 2012, 8:14pm
You know what? I really think that everything happens for a reason. It may sound really cliche. But if something bad happens, you’re meant to learn from it… or maybe you had to appreciate something else more. Either way, something that you was doing was wrong at the time. I also believe in bad karma and good karma.
Thursday 8th March 2012, 11:16pm
In two moths I will officially no longer be a bexley grammar student. And as much as I hated it… I will miss it. BGS brought a lot of pain and taught me to grow up an work hard. And from now I will.. And I am determined to work hard and to not let ANYTHING hold me back. After I will be able to attend the leaver’s BBQ and prom - I have a mental picture of how I want to look! I’m going to glamorous/elegant. 7 years at BGS… I will be turning into a child adult.
Sunday 4th March 2012, 6:57am
I actually cannot wait. The prospect of changes for university is frightening yet exciting for me. I cannot wait for this summer either. The girls want to do a last minute holiday which I don’t see happening though as I’m broke and all of us want to go to different places. But I know I’d definitely has 3 people who would be on the holiday. Girl power hahaha. But hopefully I will be able to save up quite a bit. University wise I need to start on my injections and choosing accomodation! And I will have to come back to London every two weeks because of my family. I mean the week after I leave I have to return for Vien and Jenny’s wedding! -
Sunday 4th March 2012, 12:41am
A lot has been happening recently. I’ve been keeping myself really busy volunteering, assisting at the learning centre and keeping the children happy, and I’ve been told I may have to meet the mayor soon. There’s something so satisfying about seeing people smile. On the wards where I know they are so bored, I try to talk to each one of them but it’s difficult because there’s about 10 on each section and it’s split into 5 parts. But I really think now that I want to be able to put a smile on people’s faces and change their lives. I want to have a positive impact on people so that they’d never forget me.